Today is Halloween. And I feel it.
Feel like the walking dead. Feel like failure. Feel like PMS. Feel like the last person on the planet who should be loved by God right now. Feel like my sweet Katie Kump costume is wearing thin and about to expose the someone underneath who is not so pretty on her own.
And that’s why I will be listening to Christmas music most of the day.
For a few of you this won’t seem too early, but I’m certain some are bristling.
But here’s why.
Because on days like today (no, not Halloween in particular, just days that my costume fails, which is all of them really), what I need to know is that Someone literally stepped into time and space and lived perfectly.
I need to know that His heart and life were flawless.
I need to know that Someone else was wholly loving and gracious and kind and patient.
I need to know He was all of these toward me.
Because today I am not. I am not a good wife. I am not a good friend. I am not a good sister or daughter or granddaughter or nanny.
Not on my own. Not in the least.
I need these words, these truths. I need a song to sing.
“No more let sin and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground.
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found.”
My heart has to know that happened. God knelt down to the earth and crawled into my mess. That He has and will make all things new.
“Melt the clouds of sin and sadness,
Drive the dark of doubt away
Giver of immortal gladness
Fill us with the light of day!”
Will you listen today, Beloved?
When you’re lonely today or uncomfortable in that costume.
Or when all the popular girls dress up as a pack of crayons and it’s painfully obvious how those eight are the ones who rule the school.
When you’ve stuffed yourself full of candy and self-loathing and you glance quickly toward the bathroom wondering if you can purge away the emptiness–the emptiness you feel despite the seeming fullness of your waistline. All your beauty is a gift.
When the crayons ring the doorbell and you’re already home with your little brother. When you take it all out on him or your mom or your best friend.
There is good news on this day of national faking it, Beloved.
Christmas is coming and Jesus in real skin eliminates the need for our masks.
Jesus came to seek us out and we are free to step out of hiding.
And so I’ll listen. Will you? Maybe not every day, but Christmas music time has begun. And I pray it will not end on December 26th.
Beloved, we cannot afford to forget, whether today or Christmas Eve or April 23rd, that Christmas is real.
That Christ was born.
That His life fully pleased the Father.
That His death counted fully as mine and yours and it fully covered our sin.
That His resurrection fully insured our new life.
That now under our costumes of feigned sweetness is the righteousness of Christ.
That we can live as He lived because He lives in each of us.
“A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices!
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!”
(This post was originally published on KatieKump.com on November 1, 2012. It’s been updated today with you in mind.)