As I sit here and search for the right words, the right topic, and the right phrasing, I realized that the more I search the more I come up empty. I’ve typed words, deleted complete sentences and, at times, whole paragraphs.
Confession: I’ve easily been staring at a blank screen for the better part of an hour and just when I think I’ve got the start of something, I hit that backspace key. I breathe that heavy sight and then once again find myself staring at that blinking line on the page.
Every time I sit down to write, I ask Him what He wants to say. Because really, I want His words, words He’s given to me, not just something that I’ve mustered out of my own strength. Well this time things happened a little differently. I asked Him what to write, my mind going in a million different directions on topics and themes of different lessons that I’m currently learning, and yet none of those things stuck to the page. I began to write and as soon as I did my finger found that backspace key faster than I could blink.
So the better part of an hour passes by and I find myself still staring at a blank screen. In my frustration, coupled with exhaustion and a deep desire for sleep, I threw my hands in the air and asked why He wasn’t giving me any words. His answer was short, simple:
Because I’m enough.
I would like to say that I’m surprised, or had some huge revelation upon His answer to my question. But that’s not the case. Because that’s been the answer to many of my questions in the past few weeks.
Why isn’t this what I thought it would be? Why is this hard? Why is this happening?
And His answer has been the same: because I’m enough.
And it’s true. He is enough. Actually, He’s more than enough.
My why’s have far exceeded the ones listed above, and in the past few weeks His answer to all of them has been because He’s enough. In so many ways He’s teaching me that He’s enough for me. In the midst of my weakness, in the midst of my questions, in the midst of my joy, in the midst of chaos, and in the midst of celebration He is enough. More than enough.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” -2 Corinthians 12:9