There was sin this morning. Isn’t there always?
I walked in on hers and the story of selfishness and forgiveness characterized the whole morning.
What you did was selfish, it made someone sad, and it was sin.
I don’t like that word…sin.
I asked her what she figured God was thinking as He watched her sinful fit. Was He thinking, “Ugh, I’m tired of Juliet!” or “I wish she’d just be good already.”
She hesitates in shaking her head no, little eyes looking at me with the realization that this could very well have been the outcome. It sinks in, at least a little, how repulsive the darkness is, and those big brown windows to her soul glance nervous hopeful for good news.
Miraculously He was really thinking,
“Wow, I love her, and I wish her heart would be happy in Me.”
She was strapped into the car at this point and strapped into listening. I sent the good news over my shoulder at a stop light.
The Bible says that while we were still sinners (people who sin), Jesus died for us. God loved us that much. He gave His only Son so that whoever believes in Him won’t die but will live with Jesus in His forever happiness.
And maybe I kept going because I need the news just as much as she does, but I told her my heart has sin in it too. She told me how she sometimes just goes to her room when she doesn’t want to play a game with a happy heart, and she waits there until she’s better. I told her how last night I had to go to my room and think about how much Jesus loves me anyway so I could try again to be kind to Stephen.
My heart has sin in it too, Jubes.
But it also has Jesus.
And One Day, the same Day He wipes away every tear from every eye,
He’s going to push out the rest of the sin,
and He’ll be the only One who lives in my heart anymore.
She was ready to listen to music, so we turned on the VBS cd we’re still loving three months later.
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.
I pause the music and tell her this is my favorite song because I need this Good News all day, every day. She tells me she can taste blood on her lip sometimes, and I realize all the intricacies of our salvation are lost on her and may be for several more years. They’re lost on all of us, really.
We pull up in the carpool line, and she reaches her hand forward so I’ll reach mine back. Let’s pray, she says. This is our new habit and she melts my heart in the asking.
I thank God for Juliet and for the good news that He loves us and gave us Jesus. I pray she will listen to her teachers and love her friends today because He has listened to her and loved her first. And then I ask the Word to do what only He can do, and I trust the complexity of David’s prayer can penetrate both our simple, sinful, sheep-like souls.
I partially paraphrase what King David prayed:
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His good things:
He forgives all your sin;
He heals all your diseases,
He redeems your life from the pit,
He crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
He satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
Give me that cheek, I say as we pull up to the carpool line. I kiss her big and loud and send her out with love because we’re the same person.
It’s hard to wrestle with sin first thing in the morning. It’s difficult, near impossible, to really love before the coffee really settles the cranky. But today I find there’s joy in embracing reality first thing.
My heart has sin in it, but it has Jesus in it too.
And the Day is coming when all the sad things come untrue.
Lord Jesus, let it come quickly.