Last night I made a sub-par meal. The night before I made sub-par cookies. How does one make sub-par cookies you ask? Well, one runs out of eggs and uses oil and water instead. The cookies will crumble into millions of pieces on its way to your mouth and disappear completely in the milk you dipped it in. Sub-par. You laugh. And I have over the cookies and the cardboard chicken from last night. But the word // sub-par //hangs around in my mouth like something caught in my teeth.
Sub-par // I try to quickly sweep the word aside, but I’ve swallowed more of it than I realized. The thought has crept around my daily tasks for the past couple of days, making me wonder if every task I do is sub-par. At first it wasn’t a weighty thought, just a whispered suggestion. But as I failed to rebuke the thought it gained momentum, till last night I was convinced before bed that my every deed in life has resulted in sub-par, no-good results.
I finally saw what Satan was trying to lace my thoughts with. My first reaction was to justify my every decision, replaying events to tease out my righteousness. But eventually I turned to my only real defense. Thankfully, I ran to God with my heart and fears, opening up my chest so He could see all that waged within me. And I eradicated, thanks to the Holy Spirit, the poison Satan was trying to spread through my life.
God, YOU use me even though I’m a sinner. YOU will continue to redeem my failures and flops because that’s how good YOU are. YOU are calling me into this new season of ministry. So YOU know all of the details and will continue to orchestrate YOUR will regardless of my short-sightedness and lack of clarity. I will declare tonight that Jesus – I trust YOU.
To begin sucking out the venom I declared my trust in God and not in myself. Because let’s be real, Lauren Rogers the sinner is sub-par. Compared to Christ, on my own I am such a no-good. I don’t just make cardboard chicken and sand cookies — I hate, I lie, I get angry, I act vindictively, I’m not patient or kind. So, yes Satan, you have it right. Without Christ I am sub-par.
But that’s the good part. I’m sub-par, but Christ is not. HE lived the perfect life. HE chose the better way, every day. HE lived in perfect relationship with God the Father. And HE credited ME with that l i f e, that perfect record. In exchange Jesus took my sub-par no-good record and nailed it to the cross. So when God sees me, He doesn’t see my crappy record, He sees Christ’s perfect one.
“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
II Corinthians 5:21
So take that Satan. You can’t convince me that in Christ I’m a no-good sub-par. Christ died for me. He paid for me with His life and now nothing you can do or say will take away what Christ has given me.
///////////////////////Pause to Consider With Me
It was good for me to expose the lie that Satan cast in my heart and good for me to acknowledge again Christ’s purchased identity for me. But as I started to get ready for bed, I felt like I was once again building a to-do list for myself to ensure how I would have control over my life. I needed to re-arm myself and declare again my trust in God over my past, my now, and my future. Maybe you need to do that again today too?
My past — How can we actively trust God about our past?
By not walking myself through every sin or hurt to re-live the anguish. Trust Him to know all that happened, better than even my one-sided recollections and trust that He loves me anyway. I will trust in His omniscience, justice, redemption and mercy.
My now — How can we actively trust God in our now?
I can put away my distractions – the dishes that need cleaning, the laundry that needs folding, the post that needs writing, the phone that needs answering and abide in God. Trusting that God is over, in and through time. That He has bought all of my minutes and if He chooses to “waste” them on time alone with Him, He knows best how they should be spent.
My future — How can we actively trust God for our future?
By not putting faith in myself or my abilities, but depending entirely on His character and abilities. Trusting that He will provide for every and any situation that arises. By letting go of responsibility for how things will turn out. By walking by faith in the now, instead of fear of not having enough in the future.