Some days I legitimately wonder if I’ll ever have a personality of my own.
Whenever I’ve spent even marginal time with friends, I come home and act just like them. Stephen often calls me out. “Okay, Carolyn Baggett.” “Thanks for that, Katie Sims.” “Is that right, Lauren Rogers?”
Am I just a sponge?
We laugh a little bit, but then my brow furrows and inside I wonder who I really am. Is there anything unique about me? Do I have strong and desirable quirks that my friends start to pick up from me? Or am I just a sponge, conforming to the likeness of anyone within earshot?
I could get caught up in this frustration all too quickly. I could bemoan the muddied waters of what makes me who I am and ask you to affirm me and build me up. I could spend a day asking myself lots of reflective questions trying to figure out who I am, how I fit into the social landscape, and what makes me different from everyone else. I’ve done it before, and I could do it over and over again.
But then this weekend it struck me plain as day, that while this tendency is strong–to turn into the people I spend my life with–how much I need to set my eyes on the woman I want to become.
And lest you think I’m analyzing my list of friends, weighing the pros and cons of their personalities, you have to know my prayer is for that future woman to simply be like Jesus. As much as possible. With all my energy that He has given.
We have an Enemy who wants us looking around, comparing ourselves.
We have an Enemy who wants us looking around, comparing ourselves, and setting up role models to emulate. Not that it’s always bad. Paul did encourage his churches to imitate himself, even as he was imitating Christ.
But this has to be the goal: Becoming more and more like Jesus.
Perhaps this is what all the one-liner verses have always been referring to.
I must decrease, but He must increase.
For I have been crucified in Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.
For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
And as the school year begins and my own birthday falls this week, it seems like the time is here to reevaluate. It’s time to look forward to who I might become in the year that starts today. And it’s time to pray that she is increasingly more like Jesus than who she is today.
This impressionable heart? I need time with Jesus.
Because if I am going to become like those with whom I spend the most time, my whole life is staked on who I give my time to. I want to give it to Jesus.
I want to let His Word read me daily.
I want to sing His love on repeat.
I want to look at Him and memorize Him.
Beloved, who will you be this year? Don’t settle for being more like her. And don’t buy the lie that the best you can live is You do you. We’ve been remade into the image of God Himself. We’ve been given His very Spirit inside of us.
Today is the day to set our eyes on Jesus. And tomorrow? We set our eyes on Jesus again.
Let’s choose who we become. Let’s choose Jesus.
Perhaps the most beautiful way we can spend this year
is not about who we are or are not,
but about who Jesus is and is making us to be.