I Hope You Rebound {Broken Up, Part Five}

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All three times I broke up with ex-boyfriends, I went on the rebound. Yes. Every single time.

These hearts of ours were made for ultimate intimacy and love, and they tailspin when we lose what we thought would surely be ours forever. From the very practical challenge of resuming life without someone to listen to everything you did every single day, to the deep worries we have about whether we’ll ever be loved and married, our hearts lay gaping open and begging for attention when they’re broken.

Rebound is real.

Someone new and interesting comes along and they think you’re new and interesting too. They want to spend time with you and affirm you, and suddenly you find yourself “over” the ex-boyfriend and moving on with number next.

You can probably imagine there are countless good reasons to avoid such situations. We all know intrinsically that we need the time and space to heal, but when that healing is intangible, and when it seems to be happening because someone new has come along, we’re all too easily dissuaded from taking the necessary time to slow down the dating life, spend time with Jesus, and work through the hurts and hang-ups we’ve just walked away from.

Don’t cover the hurt with distraction, Beloved.

What happens in these seasons is that our hearts are perfectly poised to be rescued by Jesus, but we settle for not-even-second-best by launching our well-being onto someone new. We repeat this pattern until our tender hearts are finally hopeless for all but Jesus.

Don’t cover the hurt with distraction, Beloved. You are far more likely to settle further than you realize as the first guy who comes along will seem dazzlingly fantastic through the lens of your teary-eyed neediness. Believe me, you win some and you lose some, but with rebound, it’s more often losses.

Even if you rebound on the right guy (who may one day become your husband–not that I ever did that–but you can read the whole story here if you really want), there is no way the relationship can find a sure foundation if you jump in too quickly. Trust me, wait it out.

Not only that, the damage will still be there, waiting to resurface when the happy wears off. Let Jesus do the heart-work, the hard work, the work of waiting, trusting that in His timing you will move forward in freedom and strength.

How do we do that? John Piper helps us remember how we act in obedience and reliance on Christ in the midst of temptation and confusion.

Specific promises to trust in?

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
    and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

There is none like God, O Jeshurun,
    who rides through the heavens to your help,
through the skies in His majesty.
Deuteronomy 33:26

I have loved you with an everlasting love;
    therefore I have continued My faithfulness to you.
Jeremiah 31:3

Today you have to know, Beloved: Jesus will not disappoint you.

You were made to rebound from relationships, but you will only be satisfied by falling hard for Jesus. Let Him show you His undivided attention and affection. Let Him be the One you share your whole entire day with. Let Him shower you with all His goodness. Ask your friends to watch you and question you and hold you to Jesus when your heart is anxious to chase another boy. Be that love to your friends in return.

Rebound on Jesus so He can re-bind you to His love.
Rebound on Jesus so He can reassemble your dear heart.

July 16, 2003

Resting In His Arms, Healed in His Love

Come here my child,
Rest in my arms.
Close your eyes
You’re far from harm.

And while you rest
I’ll heal your hurt.
I’ll wash your feet,
Remove the dirt.

The road you walk
Will bruise at best
So come lay down,
Lay down and rest.

Your back is bent
And sometimes broke
Give me your burdens
And take my yoke.

I’ll heal your back
But that’s not all,
Your heart needs help
I hear it call.

It aches from pain
That others cause
And tries to cover
Its own flaws

I’ll heal your heart
And make it pure.
My hands are gentle,
My arms secure.

I’ll never leave
Child, do not fear
I never sleep
I always hear.

I alone
Can save your soul
Give you joy
And make you whole.

Nothing else,
No other one
Can do for you
What I have done

Rely on me
My love’s wide and deep
Now rest my child
And get some sleep.

 (If you’re just jumping in, this is the fifth and final post in our Broken Up series. You can catch up on parts one, two, three, and four: here and here and here and here.)

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