Dating can be like a gigantic web: Confusing, sticky, and disorienting.
I remember trying to uncover boys’ feelings for me as me and my roommates “house-like” diagnosed his heart. Here’s a snapshot of our conversations, “Did he hold your hand? Did he ask you to dinner just you two? Did he say it like he likes you or like he like-likes you? But he gave you that look… I don’t know. It’s a hard call. I mean he could be madly in love, but that look… Do it again?” It’s funny that we do this with our girlfriends. (If you are male and reading, welcome. And yes, girls think like this.) But all too often do conversations happen like this because the boy in a relationship has not laid his life down for the girl and stated his intentions.
Why do I think that stating his intentions is an active laying his life down for this woman? He could hold all of his “cards” to his chest and out of pride and insecurity dole out his affection when he chooses. OR! He could be generous and selfless to this woman who he is considering to one day be his wife, and with her best in mind, make known his feelings and desire for a relationship. It’s one of the first opportunities in a relationship when the man gets to lay his life down for the woman.
Stating intentions does not mean that the man has to declare his undying love and arduous pursuit of his beloved. No, for the man, it’s either a humble acknowledging that God is starting to put a desire in him for marriage with this woman or not.
If you’re in a new relationship or have hopes that you will be in one soon and his intentions haven’t been stated – wait. It is such a gift to let the man be a man, even if it takes him longer to arrive at the same conclusion. Plus, if you can’t wait on him to make a decision now, marriage won’t change that.
Dating can be like a web. Sticky. Confusing. Disorienting.
But for the Christian dating doesn’t have to be that way. The end goal in dating, while in one definite and obvious way is marriage, it is also to know Christ more. If our litmus test for whether or not we should date a guy is only based on the diagnostic conversations with our girlfriends, I challenge you today to dig deeper. Who do you want to know more – Christ or this man?
If you’re in a relationship with no clearly stated intentions would you prayerfully consider your relationship today?
Do you feel caught in a web? Confused – disoriented – in a “sticky” situation?
The man who one day is your husband starts leading you far before the day you get married. One of his first acts of loving service to you can be stating his intentions.
Christ please come and give us wisdom about how to follow hard after you. Change our hearts so that we may put you first in our lives. May our hearts and our relationships love and honor you.